I just knew there had to be a way to pull my son out of the world I seemed to be losing him to. I often cried myself to sleep at night wondering what would become of Charlie. I read voraciously and pored over the internet. I was searching for anything that would lead me in the right direction so I could bring healing to a brain on fire.
To say our journey has been a success is a gross understatement. Our son literally went from having a PDD-NOS diagnosis, suspected as incapable of original thought, requiring a 1:1 aide in a Severe Learning Disabled classroom to later having his diagnosis significantly downgraded, being fully mainstreamed in a traditional classroom, then testing out of his IEP. Today he is maintained on diet and supplements alone. If this sounds too good to be true, please know our success story is NOT a needle in a haystack, but rather one that I see replicated time and time again.
Feel free to read every last detail, or jump ahead as best suits your needs. What matters is that I offer you not just hope and encouragement, but rather a set of Next Right Actions. Keep an open mind and don’t be sideswiped by fear; there is NO limit to your child’s healing.
My hope is that my journey can serve as a roadmap for You. Please remember that the process of healing holistically is just that: A Process. But like all things worth doing, the outcome will far outweigh the effort.
Join me on Our Journey Towards ADHD Healing…
- ADHD: Recognizing The Signs
- ADHD: Understanding The Gut-Brain Connection
- ADHD: Diet vs Supplements: Which Way Do I Go?
- Healing the Gut of Our ADHD Child
- Experimenting with ADHD Medication (Our Pros and Cons)
- The Miracle of Magnesium for ADHD
- Clean, Tasteless Magnesium Powder for Kids
- The Best ADHD Supplementation Regimen
- Support for Moms Healing ADHD
- Parenting the ADHD/ODD Child
ADHD: Recognizing The Signs
My son Charlie was clearly in distress. Despite his often exuberant and joyful disposition, he had an insatiable need to move, and his emotions could turn in a flash. He could be laughing one minute, albeit with a faraway look in his eye, and at the drop of a hat he could fall into an emotional tantrum. I would take him to playgrounds to run off the energy, but we’d often both leave in tears. Charlie didn’t run and play like other children. He threw sand, climbed on the outside of playsets, and begged for snacks. A breezy summer day would often produce a temper tantrum; it seemed the atmosphere was all too much for his sensitive system. (For a full list of Charlie’s behaviors, see here.)
I knew something was wrong. We’d seen a variety of specialists and Charlie had been given a number of diagnoses (each with their own acronym). Despite the bleak outlook, I couldn’t shake the thought there had to be SOMETHING I could do that would bring his fiery brain back into balance. He was so peaceful in those early months as a newborn; what went wrong?
ADHD: Understanding The Gut-Brain Connection
It took many years (and too many therapies, treatments, and specialists to count) before Charlie and I found ourselves in the office of a highly respected holistic Nurse Practitioner. “Doctor Elaine,” as my son came to call her, opened my eyes to concepts such as leaky gut, yeast eradication, and the need for a healthy and diverse microbiome. Although the concepts seemed foreign to me, I was willing to listen to ANYONE who could offer me hope. As it turned out, “Doctor Elaine” provided more than hope; she provided answers. For the first time in years, Charlie’s behaviors didn’t seem so random and mysterious. Instead, they seemed the logical response to a severely compromised gut and continued chronic inflammation. With this new information, I rolled up my sleeves and quickly got to work trying to recover my son from a world I seemed to be losing him to.
ADHD: Diet vs Supplements: Which Way Do I Go?
My plan for healing was two-fold; change the diet to stop the assault on the gut and add supplements to balance deficiencies. Although great on paper this plan proved nearly impossible to execute. Our nurse practitioner was guiding our supplement choices, but we still had challenges. Charlie couldn’t swallow pills so I’d often break open capsules and try hiding it in his applesauce. Pediatric chewables, gummies, and liquids seemed the logical answer, but I soon noticed Charlie’s behaviors worsen. I learned we could only use clean, high-quality vitamins and I did my best to get them into my son. It was a daily struggle, but I was willing to do anything. I was beyond frustrated to see that after many weeks of supplementing I still wasn’t seeing a significant difference.
Through extensive research (and MUCH trial and error) I started to realize that NO supplement can outrun the effects of wrong eating. I needed to bring healing to Charlie’s gut through simple, real food WITHOUT the common triggers. This meant:
- No gluten,
- No dairy,
- No dyes,
- No preservatives,
- No refined sugars,
- No peanuts,
- No corn
- No processed/pre-packaged foods
If you’re like me, this ‘NO’ list seems impossible. But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself these items were not causing harm… my son’s behaviors, my research, and my gut (no pun intended) were telling me otherwise.
I soon learned that two factors are paramount in vitamin efficacy: the quality of the supplement AND the condition of the gut. Yes, the supplement had to be clean, without additives, preservatives, and devoid of harmful ingredients (no gluten, dairy, dyes, flavors, refined sugars, peanuts, corn, etc.). Using supplements containing these unnecessary additives were not only offsetting the supplements’ benefits, but they were actually causing some of the behaviors I was trying to eradicate.
But ‘clean’ supplements were only half the equation– with a compromised gut, these supplements would not be absorbed properly. Until Charlie’s gut was significantly healed, I realized I was wasting valuable time, and throwing money right down the drain.
Healing the Gut of Our ADHD Child
I knew my first order of business was to heal Charlie’s gut. After MANY unsuccessful attempts with other diets, I discovered the Body Ecology Diet (BED) and Charlie FINALLY began to consistently show significant healing. (BED’s homemade coconut water kefir was a game-changer for us.) As early as a few weeks, I watched as behaviors he’d had for YEARS slowly began to fall away.
We diligently remained on BED for about 9 months. This diet is incredibly challenging (especially for a 6 year old!) and it became my aim to find a less restrictive way of eating WHILST still bringing about healing. Armed with new insights, I eventually developed my own protocol. I knew Charlie’s body was ‘programed’ to heal itself; I just needed to provide the best conditions for this healing.
By lightening the toxic load on his digestive tract, Charlie’s body continued to detox substances which were contributing to inflammation and ADHD behaviors. I pulled ALL triggers (gluten, dairy, dyes, preservatives, refined sugars, peanuts, corn, processed/pre-packaged foods), and replaced them with real food devoid of preservatives or flavorings. Sea salt, olive oil, garlic, and onion became our best friends. Charlie hated vegetables so I became an expert at sneaking greens into his everyday ground beef. I continued offering homemade coconut water kefir using Body Ecology Kefir Starter. I offered bone broth before meals, learning that the nutrients were perfect for healing and sealing the gut.
Over the months, Charlie continued to heal, slowly but surely. I kept his diet simple so as to not stress his digestion. Little by little I could add multi-ingredient foods, and was careful not to load him up on carbohydrates. (I knew NOT to be providing a ‘tasty meal’ for the yeast I was trying to eradicate.)
Don’t Let the Diet Become Your Obsession
During those early years of healing crisis, my marriage and family were one chaotic mess as my mind steadily swirled with ‘next steps’ for healing Charlie. Charlie was the youngest of my 6 children– to say I was ‘spread thin’ was an understatement. Unfortunately, my son’s diet became my obsession, but I’m grateful I finally realized I could now pull back on some of the drastic measures I was taking. Through continued research, I slowly came to see a concept forming in my mind: Let the body heal ITSELF. Free the body up to do what it’s trying to do. By removing the toxic load on the digestive system, Charlie’s body had the energy to start detoxing and eliminating all the substances that were contributing to the inflammation.
It was at this time I made peace with this fact: It’s okay if meals are boring. I decided Charlie could have the same, simple dinner a few times a week. Offering a fruit smoothie made with frozen fruit, unsweetened almond milk and a little stevia became a snack. Grilled chicken (marinated with lemon juice, olive oil, sea salt and garlic) served with brown rice became lunch. Gluten free and preservative-free millet breads (like those found at Delandbakery.com) became a quick meal when toasted and spread with almond butter, cashew butter, avocado, or Earth’s Balance butter. And because cooking is NOT my gift, I was able to find amazing websites like nourishingmeals.com where I could tweak recipes to fit my son’s needs. Over time I developed my own “Yes List” of foods from which I drew upon daily. I stopped racking my brain for variety; feeding my son real food without triggers was my only goal. Thankfully, I got comfortable with SIMPLICITY and meals became less troublesome for me.
Experimenting with ADHD Medication (Our Pros and Cons)
Fueled by determination, feeding Charlie an anti-inflammatory diet was certainly paying off. Ever so slowly I was seeing evidence of healing. Sentences were longer and thoughts seemed more mature. (“Did you hear what Charlie just said?,” became a common phrase in our household.) The tantrums were becoming a thing of the past. I noticed I could take my son out publicly and no longer worry of his antics. The ‘strange’ behaviors like making barking sounds, chewing his shirt sleeves, repeating phrases, or laughing manically ceased. He was connecting more. I found myself crying less. (Because seriously, I cried ALL the time.) Things were finally going in the right direction BUT THERE WAS STILL SO MUCH MORE HEALING I WANTED FOR HIM. As months passed, I felt as if we were plateauing, and Charlie was still struggling at school with focus. I didn’t know what to try next.
NO parent wants to medicate their child, and I was no different. But I also started to wonder if I was doing my son a disservice by NOT medicating him. Many well-meaning family, friends, and teachers had their opinions. Most thought I was spinning my wheels with diet and should understand ADHD was “just a chemical imbalance” and “medications are often necessary,” and “Wouldn’t you give your child insulin if he were diabetic?” (Yes. Yes, I would.)
And so…I decided to try something I said I’d NEVER do. Charlie was started on a low dose medication commonly prescribed for ADHD. I saw a quick and significant positive change. I loosened the reigns on his diet, finally acquiescing to what I decided was simply out of my control. I’d given years of my life (and Charlie’s) battling this beast called ADHD, and although I was afraid of the side effects, I waved my white flag and decided perhaps this medication was in Charlie’s best interest.
With medication ‘on board,’ I enjoyed the new ease of feeding Charlie. Many previously ‘withheld’ foods were now allowed back in with moderation. Perhaps it WAS just a chemical imbalance and this medication was meeting a need that I couldn’t fill naturally?
The Honeymoon With ADHD Medication Didn’t Last Long
To my surprise and frustration, the medication’s positive effects were short lasting. Within three months I was asking for a dosage increase to produce those same results we’d seen early on. The neurologist would not modify the dosage, and instead recommended some additional non-drug therapies that may help Charlie. I didn’t see progress. After a while, I saw Charlie slowly but surely regress.
What to do when ADHD Healing Stalls
As Charlie regressed, the questions kept coming. If Charlie had come so far, why couldn’t he go further? And if he was now on medication (which HAD worked early on), why was it no longer working? Why did it seem like he was getting worse? What variables had I changed?
And there it was. The ONLY variable I’d changed since Charlie received medication: I significantly loosened the reigns on his diet.
I brushed myself off and got back to the business of feeding Charlie the way I had in the past, giving him his anti-inflammatory diet (real food without any triggers- no gluten, dairy, dyes, preservatives, corn, refined sugars, processed/pre-packaged foods). I also made sure he wasn’t filling up on empty carbs (even if they were considered ‘legal’). Ever so slowly, I watched Charlie come back into balance. With regard to his pharmaceutical medication, I first chose a dosage increase as I felt it could still be benefitting him. As time went on, however, I chose to remove medication completely. (I felt if I wasn’t seeing a significant benefit, I didn’t want to risk possible long-term side effects.)
The Miracle of Magnesium for ADHD
Others (including his teachers) would often comment on Charlie’s success, reminding me I should be thrilled with how far he’d come. (At this point he’d literally gone from needing a 1:1 aide in an SLD classroom to being mainstreamed to testing out of his IEP.) Believe me, I WAS thrilled with Charlie’s steady progress. Guiding my child out of the foggy, emotional world of ADHD was certainly something to be happy about. But I couldn’t accept that there wasn’t more healing to come. Why could I get so much recovery, yet not enough to bring greater focus? How could I have gotten him to calm down SO significantly, feel at home in his own skin, no longer have sensitivity issues, lose his picky eating and insatiable appetite, no longer tantrum, and yet now completely plateau? There had to be something I was missing.
My early attempts with supplementing Charlie were frustrating to say the least, and I was afraid to exacerbate behaviors I had been successful at abating. I had watched him react to the additives in pediatric supplements and was unsure about trying again. Quite frankly, we’d done so well on diet alone that supplementation was something I’d lost hope in. But years had passed, his gut was significantly healed, and he was now able to swallow pills. I was ready to see if supplementation could take him to a greater level of healing. (Spoiler Alert: It did.)
After much research, I knew my greatest hope lay in magnesium. Many studies spoke to its usage with B6 and touted its benefits. Magnesium is involved in over 300 vital metabolic reactions, including its critical role in the neurotransmitter system. It doesn’t surprise me that magnesium deficiencies are highly prevalent among children with ADHD. Focus, attentiveness, sleep, impulse control, and one’s overall ‘feeling of wellbeing’ are just some of the processes affected by magnesium.
I immediately began Charlie on magnesium glycinate at a dosage recommended in many ADHD articles. Almost 10 years old at the time, Charlie started at 125mg in the morning and another 125mg an hour before bedtime. (Today, at 12 ½ years old, he takes 200mg both at morning and at night.)
The results came quickly. I saw a marked difference in less than 2 weeks. Charlie simply appeared calmer. Going off to sleep became easier. Even Charlie’s teacher sent me an email sharing her observations. “Charlie is no longer obsessing about when recess time is approaching.” “He’s calmer.” And she ended her note with: “He told me he’s taking a new medicine so I wanted you to know the med is apparently working.” I thanked her for reaching out and informed her the new ‘medicine’ was actually magnesium glycinate, and that I was equally surprised and excited at the results. 😊
Based on data showing its synergistic effects, B6 was soon added to our regimen (25mg each morning). We watched as the nuances of healing kept coming.
Evidence of Continued Healing with Magnesium Glycinate
Roughly 90 days after supplementation commenced, I began to see greater levels of healing. We were attending a graduation party and I’ll never forget when one of my children called me to the backyard. (Charlie never gravitated toward outdoor play so to see him outside was already surprising. ) But there, for the first time EVER, my 10 year old Charlie was playing catch with one of his older brothers. He was actively engaged in throwing AND catching that ball. And not just any ball, but a football. To someone else, this may have seemed like no big deal, but not to me. I knew I was witnessing the evidence of brain healing right before my eyes.
And the miracles kept coming. At the 4 month mark, Charlie learned to ride his bike. He was 10 ½ but despite YEARS of trying, Charlie never seemed to have the eye-hand coordination, nor the core strength to balance and pedal. His physical and occupational therapists always spoke to his low core strength so I ascertained this must be a “muscle” issue, not a “brain” issue. Even riding a push scooter was challenging. So when we went out to try bike riding (yet AGAIN), I didn’t expect much. But this time it was different. Charlie was suddenly “learning” like my older children had. Trial and error, but always progress. We kept at it in secret– and in THREE days he rode that bike down the street to the absolute astonishment of his dad and siblings!
Two months later it was time for new shoes, and again another miracle. Charlie chose sneakers with laces as his growing shoe size lacked options with Velcro. I told him we’d have to learn to tie the shoes before we could purchase. He sat right down on the floor and asked me to show him. (I was stunned. This ease of his taking direction was also new to us.) Although I’d tried to teach him countless times before, this time he watched intently as I moved the laces into a bow. He immediately imitated my actions. The laces were tied in seconds, and Charlie wore those new sneakers right out of the store. (What?!?)
Creating The Magnesium Solution For You + yours
I began sharing our ADHD Journey to help others. By providing optimal conditions through diet and targeted supplementation, perhaps they too could restore their children and families. But I wanted to go further. I wanted to create a solution for the many children like Charlie, those missing out on the benefits of magnesium glycinate simply because there wasn’t an easy to swallow, clean, tasteless option. You + yours is my answer to that problem. Working with a small team dedicated to creating pure supplements for your family, I am thrilled to offer Magnesium for Kids so your young child can reap the benefits of this miraculous mineral. This magnesium powder quickly dissolves in your child’s beverage or soft food, and dosing is easily customized. It is highly absorbable and doesn’t cause a laxative effect like magnesium oxide or magnesium citrate which is used in products like ‘CALM’. (A non-laxative supplement was critical for us. Already on a mission to restore Charlie’s gut, I didn’t want supplements that would undo any healing I had been working towards.)
The Best ADHD Supplement Regimen
As most parents trying to heal ADHD holistically, I experimented in the usage of other supplements in an effort to find greatest healing for my son. In addition to magnesium glycinate and B6, Charlie’s daily regimen now includes vitamins C and D, omega 3, probiotics, and zinc. We also use a product by Thorne called Memoractive* which I highly recommend. And for those days when Charlie needs a little extra ‘calming’, I provide 2-3 quick-acting chewable tablets of suntheanine (L theanine) which works like a charm.
Support for Moms Healing ADHD
Your walk towards ADHD healing is best done with others. I thank God for putting moms in my life whom I could vent to on a daily basis, sometimes crying out of sheer exhaustion. It was essential to have those women as a sounding board, each of us helping the other bring healing to our children. Today, I am happy to invite you to join my Facebook Group ‘Take Control of ADHD Now’. It is a ‘judgement-free’ zone. Ask me questions, watch instructional videos, and learn what I did so you can do it too. It is my honor and privilege to share everything I know so that your child can have healing success. If you need more personal mentoring, please message me on Facebook, or email me at cmcarrara@comcast.net; I’m happy to chat with you about how I may be of more help.
Unlimited Potential for Healing for ADHD and ODD
If my sharing has helped you, I am honored. I am grateful for the healing we’ve seen over the years. And if you think this regimen is specific to only my son Charlie’s healing, you should know this…
Charlie’s older brother Matt had been struggling for years with ODD symptoms in addition to his mild ADHD. These oppositional and defiant behaviors were so incongruent to the kind, compassionate child we knew Matt to be. In addition, Matt began suffering with chronic joint pain, facial blinking and twitching, as well as a repetitive arm/hand swirling. He had been tested for the common offenders including Lyme’s Disease, but results were always negative. I never thought Matt’s varied behaviors and ailments were connected, nor that they could be remedied with a radical change in diet. But when it became apparent that NOTHING ELSE was working, we decided to try Charlie’s ‘protocol’ on his older brother.
Changing an 11 year old’s diet is easier said than done, and you can imagine the resistance we got. Working as a team, my husband and I told Matt in no uncertain terms he MUST eat as I instructed for TWO STRAIGHT WEEKS. It was challenging, but even Matt was tired of his roller coaster emotions, and reluctantly stuck to the diet. By the end of the first week the change was undeniable. Matt was NOT happy that we decided to extend the diet, but even he couldn’t deny the seemingly miraculous changes in his temperament. Furthermore, we watched in amazement as his constant joint pain became a thing of the past. The last to go were his facial ticking and blinking, and finally his wrist tics. For greater detail on Matt’s journey see here.
Parenting the ADHD Child— The Healing Continues
Healing works on a continuum. No one is ever ‘done,’ but rather always striving to be the best version of himself. Our ADHD children are no different. My Charlie may have the propensity to lose focus in the classroom, but this is not a fatal flaw. Our goal is to continuously provide the best conditions for them to learn and grow. As we parent them with honor, we become a broken record of praise. Why? Because just like us, children walk right into the identity most consistently spoken over them.
Parents, the answers are often hiding in plain sight. This may seem too good to be true when actually— The Truth is Just Too Good. Don’t cry yourself to sleep as I did for years. Instead, nourish your children’s bodies and brains with anti-inflammatory, restorative foods. Balance deficiencies with clean supplements. And speak life over them with honor and respect. I promise you, their healing will amaze you.
*Author’s Note: With the exception of You + yours magnesium, I have no affiliation or monetary agreement with any products, websites, or research contained in this article.
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Carolyn offers encouragement and knowledge so other moms can experience the same successful results as her son. One of her older sons, also ADHD, struggled for YEARS with O.D.D. symptoms. She wants you to know you can have control over symptoms even when given that VERY overwhelming ADHD or O.D.D. diagnosis.